10for Blog

Best Friends Don’t Always Make For Perfect Roommates
By Tanisa Brown
Searching for apartments for rent? Need a roommate to split the rent with? If you need a roommate and have a best friend, you might think your bff will make the perfect roommate for you. And why not? You two have the same style in clothing, the same taste in music, love the same kind of movies and plain simply, you two get along great together. However, when it comes down to renting an apartment, your relationship as best friends will switch over to a new kind or relationship: roommates.

A relationship with a roommate is much different than a relationship with a bff because with a roommate, responsibilities regarding a leased apartment are shared. If you get an apartment with your bff you both will be responsible for things like rent, water bill, gas bill, electric, cable, internet and phone bill, along with your own personal finances like your cell phone, car note, car insurance, health insurance, student loans, food and all the other miscellaneous items that pop up everyday. To spell it out clearly for you, sharing an apartment will boil down to one thing-MONEY!

Ask yourself is your bff responsible? Are they decent with handling money and can pay their financial obligations on time? Do they have a steady job? If you don’t honestly answer these questions to yourself and decide to have your bff as a roommate, be prepared for the relationship to go sour if an incident occurs over money. I went through it twice myself and I seen it happen to several friends of mine. It’s unfortunate, but money has been the cause for many marriages, business partnerships and friendships to break up. Sure there is a list of other reasons why you and your bff could stop being friends if you become roommates, but with that said, if living with your bff doesn’t work out, keep in mind you guys may end up becoming enemies.

Tips To Make Having Your BFF As Your Roommate Work
1. Before moving in with your bff, first find out what I mentioned above. Do they have a steady job? Can your bff easily afford their share of the rent plus other expenses? It’s a good idea to break down living expenses on paper so you and your bff can see in black and white how much it will cost to share an apartment together.

2. Sit down with your bff and explore issues that could lead to a confrontation. How would you two resolve those issues? Be sure to ask questions like “What would happen if one month I don’t have money for the rent” or “Would you be upset if my boyfriend/girlfriend sleeps over a few times a week”? Learning how to solve problems together as roommates will lead to less fights and arguments.

3. You and your bff obviously come from different home lives. Are you a neat freak and your bff is a total slob whose mom always clean up after them? If so, a roommate agreement may be helpful to outline some rules of your new home. Rules like the garbage must be taken out every night, no dishes in the sink, common areas like the bathroom and living must always stay clean can make a world of difference and lead to less confrontation down the road.

4. When it comes to bills like the internet, gas and electric, it may be a good idea to have both your names on the billing statements. That way if a bill becomes deliqueent, it will affect your credit report equally. Hey, it’s only fair.

5. As roommates, don’t assume you can just waltz into your bff’s room and borrow clothing or jewelry whenever you want. Always ask to borrow something even if you know your bff will say yes. Privacy and being respectful of your roommate’s things is key to smooth roommate living.

6. Are you two going o split the food bill together? You’d be surprised how fights start because your roommate ate your yogurt or you ate all of their ice cream. I personally think it’s good idea to shop for food together. However, feel free to buy items you want solely for yourself, but just don’t hide food from your roommate. It’s not cool and it’s petty. If you buy something you want for yourself, tell your roommate in a polite manner not to touch it. Vice versa, if you see something in the fridge that wasn’t bought together, but you want to eat it, ask your roommate if you can have some.

7. Love to have guests over? If you often like to have friends over late at night, be courteous towards your roommate’s schedule. Check in to see if your roommate has to work early the next morning or has finals to take the next day.

8. Does your bff have a boyfriend/girlfriend that will be sleeping over all the time? Will you be comfortable with that? Ask this up front before it becomes a problem. Also, if your roommate’s significant other will be eating up the food you bought together, “the new 3rd roommate” has to chip in money towards the food bill. A sandwich here and there is no big deal, but if every time you turn around and your roommate’s significant other is always in the fridge, it is a big deal. Food costs money honey. Just the same, if your roommate’s significant other makes a mess around the house, they have to clean up after themselves.

9. Another thing about significant others-be careful about always having them around your bff or be careful being around your bff’s significant other. I’m not trying to start something here, I’m just saying I’ve seen affairs happen as well because roommates get too comfy with having their significant other around the apartment. The last thing you want is to come home and see your man/girl fooling around with your bff/roommate or being accused of fooling around with your bff/roommate’s man/girl. Not cool! If that’s the case, have your boyfriend/girlfriend as your roommate. Otherwise, don’t leave your man/girl home alone with your bff or be home alone too often with your bff’s man/girl!

10. As with clothes, don’t assume you can use or borrow your roommate’s electronics. If you need to get on your roommate’s computer for example, ask, ask, ask! People store private information on their computer from account numbers to journals. I had a friend once who accidental read his bff/roommate’s email only to find that his bff was talking trash about him to another friend of theirs. If you don’t want to go through that kind of experience, my advice is to always ask first.

11. This is one of the main reason why bffs stop being friends-one roommate unexpectedly decides to break the lease and move out, while leaving the other roommate stuck with the apartment and expenses. If you don’t really know or understand much about leases, you better learn. Some landlords will be more aggressive than others about going after people who break their lease.

Yes, I understand it’s impossible to predict the future, but when you move in with your bff the two of you should agree not to break the lease and move out until the lease is up. If you and your roommate can’t guarantee that you guys won’t break the lease, move into an apartment where they have short term leases like 3 months, 6 months and 12 months. Take my word for it, break the lease without warning your bff/roommate and I promise you guys won’t be friends anymore. I’ve seen friends sue each other for back rent because of broken leases!

Having your best friend as your roommate can work, but problems happen because best friends sometimes take advantage of each other because they are best friends. If you value your relationship with your bff and have been friends for years, I honestly don’t reccommend having your bff as a roommate. Sorry, but within a year of living with each other as roommates, I’ve seen too many relationships between best friends end, mainly because money. Best friends don’t always make for perfect roommates! Take it from me-I lost 2 best friends this way.

To find out more about finding a roommate, roommate scams and living with roommates, visit http://thefemaleroommate.blogspot.com/

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Your Relationship After Having a Child
By Lara Lee
Many men and women worry about how the child would effect their relationship, of course everybody has uncertainties. A new human being coming in your life, can change a lot.

But do not panic, the new baby will only bring a reason for you to get more closer to your partner. He or she will be a lifelong icon of your love.

Here are a few reasons why you will get closer to your partner after having a child. Once you hold the baby you will both be hugging him or her together, the cuddles along with the baby. All those pictures being taken, will be releasing oxytocin which is a love hormone. Whenever you hug or cuddle you feel relaxed and closer to your partner. Just because you are not having sex does not mean you can not feel closer to each other.

Indulge in other type of activities such as massages, or baths. You should lye down with your partner in his lap once the baby is asleep.
Do not be embarrassed over your body, after the child’s birth. your nipples might be swollen or you might have gotten, some stretch marks after the birth. But your partner has seen you giving birth, and knows it is not easy to become a mother. So do not lose confidence, and remember you are beautiful.

With a baby on board you will also get in touch with your childhood days. Not only will you and your partner plan activities with the baby, you might talk about older days. You will have talks about who he or she looks like. You might sit down and discuss what you want for your baby. All these talks are important to strengthen your relationship. Giving birth is a difficult period for a woman. It is always important to make the most of your time together and do not panic, this new child will bring warmth, blessings and harmony in your household.

First it was just you and your partner, now you will be a family. You will have discussions about who will go the doctor, when to go grocery shopping for the baby. Both of you will be involved in raising the child. Whenever you will have time for each other you will cherish that time.

YES! You can bring back your love! No matter how stubborn the resistance, no matter how far this person may be from you, no matter how hopeless or difficult your situation appears! Click here for the magic Strategy.

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Related Breakup Sites

http://noall1.com/breakingup
http://noall1.com/seperation

This is an interesting take on an old problem i thought i would share it around you might be as shocked as i was,i would never do it, but i guess some would?

Get Your Ex Back by Sleeping With Someone They Know
By Tristan Lee
So what if you were a little needy, dependent, and reliant on your girlfriend or boyfriend. That doesn’t mean that they needed to break up with you. Show them that you’re not so needy and that you are capable of living life without them. Ironically, this will help you get your ex back.

Before anything, make sure you can get a hold of yourself… I can’t go over there and start shaking you. Stop crying and stop thinking about your ex. This will not work if you have any doubt in yourself, are insecure, and always thinking about them. Stay positive and do not allow negative thoughts (memories, images of your ex, etc) to enter your head. You’re on a mission here, not only to get your ex back, but to make you into a stronger person.

First, get your cell phone out. Write down all the numbers of your ex’s friends from the opposite sex that both of you guys knew. You’re obviously in a lot of distress, so call them and ask them if you can pour out your feelings towards them, since you can’t really pour your feelings towards your ex. Invite them over to your place.

The second thing you need to do is talk to them about that happened between you and your girlfriend or boyfriend. Friends “love” hearing gossip and details, so go in-depth and try to add emotional tidbits.

For example, start off slow and be nice to them… If they are there with you, they “want” to hear your story. Again, start slow and say something like, “I really did my best to keep this relationship alive but I guess it just didn’t work out…” Then start to add details about them. Tell them how you missed the way their soft hair feels and how they had that cute, quirky smile that always made you laugh. Your tone of voice shouldn’t be depressing or whiny, it should be nostalgic and uplifting. Look in their eyes as you are saying this to them.

Spend at least an hour talking to them and make sure you are always raising the bar each time… You want to have as much good rapport with your ex’s friend and make them feel an emotional connection to you by starting from casual conversation, to playful flirting, to deeper, more intimate conversation about what you guys have in common or secret stories that you haven’t revealed to anyone.

Watch for their signals. If they seem to be responding in an “I don’t mind being taken advantaged” type way, tell them how much they remind you of your ex and start complimenting on their physical and inner qualities.

When things start to heat up between you two, tell them that you want to show them something in your room. Take them by the hand and lead them to your bedroom. Continue to develop deep conversation until there is a silent moment where both of you guys are looking at each other. If they don’t look away, slowly graze your fingers on the side of their face, lean in, and gently kiss them on the lips as if it was the most delicate thing on earth. From here, you should have no problem continuing a steamy, sexual adventure and be on the way to getting your ex jealous, creating an emotion that will draw them back to you.

Obviously, these tactics are hurtful, emotionally damaging, and will cause a lot of “drama.” If you’re looking for a more ethical and positive way to get your ex back that doesn’t involve sleeping with another person or getting your ex jealous, visit http://www.expotions.com.

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Just Like a Kid
By Bronwen Hall
Recently I was at the playground with some friends and our children enjoying some time together. My friend commented on how as a child she loved playing on the swings, loved the feeling of the wind in her hair and the sense of freedom she got from flying back and forth. As the swings were not being used, we decided to have a go on them. As I we swung the memories came flooding back of more innocent times of our childhood and for the pure joy of it we started laughing. Not a polite little giggle, but a cannot stop belly busting type of laugh.

It made me think…

What were you like as a child? What things did you enjoy doing? How often do you still do them? Why is it that as we get older, we stop doing things we enjoy?

It is true that as adults we have more responsibilities, the bills need to be paid, the house needs to be cleaned, jobs need to be done. But when did you decide that these things could not be fun? My daughter, as a preschooler, loved nothing more than to help clean around the house. Yes, it is true that the cupboards only got cleaned about half way up and the washing took three times as long to put out as she found the right coloured peg. Yet she always made a game of it and happily sang as she did whatever had to be done.

I feel that we should learn from the example of children and throw ourselves wholeheartedly into the activity that needs to be done. Whether it is washing the dishes (and if a water fight happens at least the kitchen gets an extra clean as well), or taking out the garbage (skipping makes this activity more enjoyable according to my 13 year old). The activity does not matter as much as the attitude towards it. Think of it as a game and it will be a lot more enjoyable, than if you label something work.

Another lesson that I have learnt from young children came when we were holidaying in Fiji. We were visiting a local village when we came across a group of preschool children playing with a ball. Our son was about 4 at the time, and was as fair as the local kids were dark. None of the Fijian children could speak much English and other than Bula (hello), our son knew no Fijian. However, this did not stop them from all playing together. A ball game began with much laughter involved and ended up with a dozen new friends posing for a photo. It did not matter to these children that they could not speak the native language of the other. They had a ball which was a common factor that led to a memory that my son still cherishes.

As children we naturally make friends. As adults we often lose this ability. Why? I think that we become self conscious and judgemental towards others as well as ourselves. Asking what will they think, before approaching someone or undertaking some activity? Instead why not take a lesson from a child and just do it. Toddlers are not concerned with people giving them strange looks as they soar on the swings at the park having a belly laugh with their friends. So why not try it? You might find that the strange look are actually looks of happiness or envy, from adults wishing they were game enough to join in with you. Or you could go one step further and ask them to join you. Who knows you could just make a new friend.

Want more out of life? Looking for inspiration in the face of challenge. Bronwen is the founder of http://www.art4inspiration.com I create beautiful and inspiring digital art works to help you create a positive and empowering environment for you to achieve your dreams. They are wonderful, unique gifts for that special person in your life. My weekly dose of inspiration newsletter is delivers inspiration to your inbox. If you would like to subscribe visit me at http://www.art4inspiration.com

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